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As an experienced Portland divorce attorney, I can attest that there is no truly easy way to get a divorce. You may have to go to court, and you will most likely have to hire a divorce attorney. Neither of those things by themselves are what most people would call “fun,” and that doesn’t even take into account all of the feelings that go into separating from a person you probably thought you were going to spend your life with. Simply put, divorce is painful.

However, there are ways to make your divorce a more amicable process. After all, no one wants to put their family through any more pain than is absolutely necessary. Below are some things you can do to make the proceedings go as smoothly as possible.

Portland Divorce Attorney’s Top 4 Tips for an Amicable Separation

Make absolutely sure this is what you want. Even under the most positive conditions, going through a divorce is stressful, especially when there are child custody issues involved. Before making that leap to divorce, consider talking to a family counselor and schedule an appointment with an experienced Portland divorce attorney to go over what you’re really getting into.

Talk it out with your spouse. The more decisions the two of you can agree upon up front, the quicker and easier the proceedings will be. This means coming up with a plan to divide your assets and deciding how child custody will work after the divorce, among other things. If you can’t come to an amicable arrangement with your future ex, your divorce attorney or mediator can help. Remember, if you don’t decide, a judge will do it for you – not the situation you want to be in.

Choose your battles wisely. Often, a Portland divorce attorney will watch as their clients fight tooth and nail for something they don’t really have any interest in. It becomes more about depriving their partner of something than gaining it for themselves. Before it gets to this point, make a list of the possessions that are truly important to you, then rank them as “need,” “want,” and “would like.” It’s not worth the time, money, or pain it will cause your family to fight over something that doesn’t matter all that much to you anyway.

Take care of your physical and mental health. Divorce can be an exhausting, agonizing experience even under the best of scenarios, and the physical toll this takes on you can make you act out of anger and frustration instead of from a clear mind. Rest, exercise, and eat well. If you still feel like the stress is too much, talk to a counselor to help you sort through your feelings, so that you can be rational and active.

If you’re still feeling the need to burn bridges, keep in mind that divorce doesn’t necessarily end when you receive your papers in the mail. As a Portland divorce attorney can tell you, “post-judgment” motions and orders such as changes to child support, child custody, alimony, visitation, or other items in the Separation Agreement can mean that you’ll be interacting with your ex for years to come. Do your best to eliminate that future stress now by making your divorce as “friendly” as possible.

For advice specific to your individual circumstances, contact an experienced Portland divorce attorney today.

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From my experience as a Portland, Oregon divorce attorney, I know that many of my clients find preparing to file for divorce nerve-wracking. Below are a few more tips for how you can protect yourself, but be sure to check out part 1 as well.

Organize and protect important documents and possessions. This means listing any and all valuables – artwork, jewelry, safety deposit box contents – knowing the value of all of your assets and accounts, having vital documents like tax returns, account statements, bills, Wills, trusts, marriage certificates, birth certificates, and jotting down social security numbers and drivers license numbers.

Get a CPA recommendation from your Portland, Oregon divorce attorney. Maybe you didn’t need an accountant in the past, but you do now. They can talk you through the tax implications of divorce.

Journal everything. Evidence is critical to support your case. Record your interactions with your spouse and children – especially how anything your spouse did negatively impacted the children. This may seem petty, but a Portland, Oregon divorce attorney will tell you how valuable it can be if custody becomes an issue.

Plan for your own future. If your spouse was the primary source of income in your home, you might want to look for a job or consider going back to school. Not only will this help you provide for yourself, if you have children, it will show that you can support them.

Think long and hard before you move out. Leaving your home can negatively impact your custody chances if it comes down to a fight with your spouse, so make sure if you do move out that you find a place that your children can live comfortably. On the flip side, absolutely do not let your spouse move out and take the kids.

Go to counseling. And have the kids see counselors too. Not only is this good for everyone’s mental health when going through a stressful time like this, it’s a good strategic move to show that you care for your children’s welfare.

Get to know divorce law. A good divorce lawyer will make sure that you know as much as possible to help your case and make the divorce run as smoothly as possible. Another reason hiring an experienced Portland, Oregon divorce attorney should be number one on your list.

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A Portland divorce lawyer will tell you that a divorce is something you should not only prepare for mentally and emotionally, but logistically as well. Ideally, you and your partner will have an amicable divorce, but taking steps to protect yourself and your interests is just smart. Below are several important things you should consider doing before you enter into divorce proceedings.

Hire an experienced Portland divorce lawyer. There’s a reason this one comes first on the list. Hiring a divorce attorney immediately means that you have more time to prepare with a professional who can help you to build your case. A good divorce attorney will also be able to expand on this list and tell you what you need to do in your specific circumstances.

Save up or set aside money. Divorce can be expensive. You’re going to need to pay your divorce attorney, of course, but there are a number of other expenses that could come up, including moving expenses if you end up needing to leave your home and get an apartment. An experienced Portland divorce lawyer can also examine the joint accounts you hold with your spouse and tell you what you are entitled to immediately – not after the divorce. Generally speaking, withdrawing 50% of the funds in your joint savings to pay for living expenses and costs associated with the divorce is considered acceptable.

Open individual accounts. You’ll need somewhere to put that money you withdraw from your joint account, so set up a bank account that’s only in your name. This also applies to email and cell phone. You want ways for people to contact you that your spouse doesn’t have access to. And if you don’t have one already, opening a credit card that only you have access to is a good idea as well. Speaking of which…

Cancel all joint credit cards. While this is hopefully not something that will happen in your case, it’s not unheard of for one spouse to run up credit bills and try to hold their partner liable. Canceling as many joint liabilities and lines of credit you can protects you. Just to be safe, have your credit report monitored by a company just in case you missed something and your spouse does become vindictive.

Keep paying bills. Ideally, you want to sell off as much joint property as you can to avoid headaches, but for some things that just won’t be possible. Because of this, make sure you contact companies that handle any loans (cars, home) or other bills and have a duplicate copy sent to you. You don’t want your credit ruined because your spouse decides to be spiteful and stop paying.

These are just a few steps you can take. Check back soon for Part 2 with more tips or call our offices to talk to an experienced Portland divorce lawyer.